Why are we so willing to show up for others, but not ourselves?

A couple of months ago while I was noodling around with how I wanted to grow,  I wrote down this phrase:

“Why are we so willing to show up for others, but not for ourselves?”

BIG YIKES. As an obliger through and through, I felt SO called out and wanted to hide under a rock. Over the years, I have trained myself to take the mindset that EVERYTHING I do should be in service of others. I mean, even when I REST I tell myself “I am resting so I can refill my well to give to others.” So how the hell was I supposed to train myself to show up for just myself? And how was I supposed to show up for others when we are in a time of isolation? Do I just not show up at all?

 So over the past few months, I have been playing around with this idea. And until this morning I didn’t have an answer. Then the answer hit me- and by hit me I mean I physically felt the weight of the question knock me over. 

“Maybe we are never fully showing up for others or ourselves, but always a combination of both.” 

WHAT???

Maybe I show up to build community because I also need community. Maybe I rest to refill my ability to give, but also to gift myself grace. Maybe I can show up for others in a way that feeds both them and myself. Maybe the key is to always strive to show up in a way that feeds myself and others. 

So there’s my thought for the week. Take it if you need it, leave it if you don’t. Either way, I encourage you to think about how you are showing up and reframe how you think about how you are serving others, as well as yourself.